...

Right now my minds is not healthy. I am in a very deep situation which makes my heart wants to brake into pieces. I actually can not hold it and wants to explode and shouts all my anger to open space.
I am in the situation where I see my mother everyday in depressed because of my father never wants to understand my mother.
He is now I see becomes the most disappointing person in my life. I can never understand why he did it all to my mother.
He becomes the most annoying person I see in my life. I could never accept that and never happy about it. But I can not revolt him because he is my father and I do not have rights to do that because I am afraid of God.
I wanted to do something to help my mother but I can not because I do not have the budget.
I am so so very sad and wanted to cry but I can not because I am myself have got depressed as my mother. I am feeling the depression because seeing my mother got her depression. I am so sad, so so very sad.

I am.. *sigh*
I..

This sadness
I could not tell this sadness
I have no responsible
For telling it
To anyone I knew
It is too embarrassing
For my father
I should not do that
For him
I do not want
To make him
Feel embarrassed
In front of public

I wish I have
A personal psychiatrist
For me
Or for my mother
Even more for my father
*sigh*
But I can not
I do not have budget
And my father is
Too taking counts on every single thing
*cries*