Split and Divide

Life is not some kind of a straight line that is easy to get pass through it and live on
If you had that kind of life, enjoy it

Be grateful for that
Not all of the people in this world can have it that way

Some don’t have faith to live that way; they’re dead
Some don’t have strength to live that way; they’re hiding for the rest of their life
Some don’t have chance to live that way; they’re living in sorrow
Some don’t have knowledge to live that way; they’re left behind
Some don’t have friends to live with; they’re lonely
And some other who I didn’t mention; they have to face their own matter

I’m the one in the hiding situation

I don’t know when and how will I end this hiding and live free

Back Again

I’ve been away for so long
Like I’ve been a dead person
Who’s no one ever heard about me anymore
I lost my souls
And feels like I have gone
To another dimension

I need to get back on my feet
I need to get back to where my root is
I shouldn’t let the devil snatched me
I’m not one like it thinks it can be fooled

I’m God’s child

The Beautiful of Life

When you have time to live
what would you like you have?

When I was thinking about
my life that has passing
the eyes, I have seen
the love I have received
all its beautifulness
I've missed it all

I had a dream
that I'll be happily
live with someone
that I will love him
so much

It'll be a good day
when we go somewhere
where the greeneries
spread all over the path
we through together
smiling and holding

I would like to have it

If I can be with him
in a beautiful countryside
sky is covering us
clouds are cheering us
birds are chirping
singing their special song
the wind swirls caress
my cheek
my hairs
the best time
in my life

I wish I will have that all
soon..
Not making a bad decision
to spend the rest
of my life...


// words of Gizela
// inspired by Nick Drake's "Which Will"
// thru How I Live Now [2013]

Poignant

When you have poignant
You have to try
To dismiss it
Don't let your mind
Being controlled
By your pain
I know
Life is so hard
There are so many
Bads that ripped
Your soul so deep
But you have
To be strong
To face it all
Eventhough
It is terribly hard

I have tasted
The bitter
Of being a human
Of being disappointed
Of being embarrassed
Of being sad
Of being someone
Who were ignored
By others
In my youth
But I tried
To stop it
And not letting
Them all
Scrape me
Inside and outside
So I can win
And be myself

Fleeting

I always have this feeling
Once twice keep showing
Like I'm back to that thing
The time when everything
That happened and cling

The pictures just like real
When it makes me feel
Like I'm in a virtual dream
But my thoughts seem
They bring me back there
Sat and state somewhere

[written by Gizela]

I Mad

I feel guilty if I screw him
But I feel mad if I don't
I don't know what to do

Sometimes I feel depressed
Seeing someone I love
Got screw with him

Just want to kick him
out of my life
forever
But I'm not supposed to do that

Sometimes I ask myself
Did she make mistake?
But I don't think she was

She's actually a good person
But he never want to understand her

I got mad at him again
I wish I never met him again
I tried so hard not to think about that
But if he does
What can prevent me?

My heart beats
My head pains
All I want to do is despise him
Once and for all

Oh, I wish he's not coming close
For the rest of my life
He could affect so bad to me
To my life
To my future

Just stop this!
I hate you!

[words by Gizela]

There was "Someone"

Someone in this world.

Someone has brainwashed me.

Someone someway is far away, but

Someone sometimes is near to be reach out.

Someone I thought similar to me.

Someone I felt a good person.

Someone is strong and bright.

Someone looks real humble.

Someone seems kind and friendly.

Someone affected my life.

But in all sudden someone is missing.

[words by Gizela]

Even Brighter When I Shut

I'm still in my own mind
I know I'm all grown up
But I can't resist what I feel
I still need times to conjure
Let me dig my young life
I dont' want too quick to step
I feel like I still need to make changes
People have to know it
I'm different
I can make something different than other
I believe that
Because there is something inside my heart
To show the world
I can do that!


[words by Gizela]

Suddenly I Got This

5 September 2011,
Night before I sleep...


I'm writing to myself
It's been one year and five months
And it's six months to go
I'm still in my own world
Without no one except my parent
To live with
And enjoy the life
I'm still not doing anything
Except flying on my own dreams
Still never want to leave it
But still in my parent's loves
And cares
And guidance
And live happily everyday
And my God still loves me
With full of joy
Where I'm a bit selfish, sometimes...
I must aware,
I know!
I still need those all
'Cause I'm nothing without them
It's always better to live with all those warns
In case I'm alive.


I just want to tell the world
That we're all had to always grateful
For everything we got


Here I am
Still in the middle of life's trap
I'm still jobless
I wish I could get one
And make my parent proud
'Cause I'm their only hope
I'm the only one they had
I wish I could still grateful
For everything I've got
Even I'm in deep minds confusing


Bless me God
Bless my parent
Bless everyone
Bless this world
'Till we back to You
Amen.


With Love,
R.G.L.


Ps: It's not a death letter, it's just all the whimpering wildest minds of me that has been disturbing for this time.


[words originally by Gizela with full of appreciation in life fulfillments]

Memories

Memories I left behind my life
I still remember that
Many years ago
I was a teenager
Music never dies
Beautifully sounded
Filling my heart
And minds…
Happy days I felt
Going somewhere
Met my cousins
At their house
Had some talks
And fun…
Everything I did
Will always be a memory
Love and warmest days
Came to my life
Will never return
Vacation days will always stay in my mind
No turning back

[words by Gizela]

And It's All Gone...

Moments have just passed by

I must left it all

Strength has broken

But I believe

New hopes will come soon

I did my best

But something disturbed me

I can't go on

As I couldn't accept it

Wish this going better soon

Now,

It's time to build new views

I'm still young

And I'll always try again

Until I can get what I deserve

I won't forget all the good times

With everyone who have been nice to me

Thank you...

[words by Gizela]

Get It True

Days has passed by

Feelings through the mind

Troubles come forward

But help always come too

Life changed after times

Enjoy the moment of happiness

Even it’s almost late

But hopes wont left

Here is the truth

Showing the heart full of excitement

Still continue for the next step

Until it shows up

[words by Gizela]

dedicated to B.I.G.

Rambling On Wicked Days (Misinterpretation)

Mystical burning ashes to dust
Waste the remaining signs of burst
Chains are linked to bitten minds
Shades the sunrise of mines


Wakes it up on the soil
Wiped and wash the wound
Forks are over the seal
Seeds been thrown away


[words by Gizela]

Grandchild's Delusions

Life as a human has to fill up with many things

Life as myself isn’t really easy

Sometimes happiness came

But sadness also took apart

Memories can’t disappear easily

Life as a grandchild who closer to grandparents

Have the entire positive and the negative points

But it won’t be as easy as usual grandchildren

You will have lots of memories within it

When you have to see them gone

You have to be ready

As you feel it will be the hardest time to ease the pain

[words by Gizela]

The Game

Bright eyes open up
I wanna see your day
Play around on the hub
Smash up the clay

I could see your smile
In the beautiful day
Just stand shine
And you're on my way

Come on!
Get me on your life
I see the sky's up there
And the sun's rising
Come bright my day
Let's get on the game!
The game!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

My time has around
And my games just like a rolling dice
They turn me upside-down
But I still need advice
To come around and away

My Portrayal

I'm not a perfect person
I have my sins
I did mistakes
I got my dark past


There's no reason to lie
There's no late to change
There's a time to try
There's a view to catch
The brightest future will come


Change is the word
Chance is the way
Just do it
'n grab the brightest future



*this was my own poet and has been published in Hello Magazine April 2011 issue
(with a different title "My Creed")

Something I Didn't Know

I'm not even the master

But the time has passed by and I have to think too

The only thing I know is inspiration

Which comes slower if there's no rightest moments

I do try to figure out what I've been thinking for

But the reason I got only a little

Trust what I've been trust

Do what should I do

Will I get what I'm dreaming of?

I...just try it

The Heart Feelings

Why do they make me sad?

What should I tell ‘em?

Who’s gonna listen?

Where’s the justice I’m begging of?

When will the change comes?

How would they be?

The heart feelings of the broken

Waiting for the truth

Unfinished problems

Of the love ones

The hopes and the dreams

For whom I love

The attentions and the cares

For whom I love

Lies

Lonely time passing by

I stand on my knee

Try to believe the lie

No one can be

Alone..

My time has passed by

I keep stand on my knee

Lie is beneath under

In the deepest skin

Wait for the time

I’ve been waiting for

Here alone and alone

People don’t care about me

Days of scared

Full of emptiness

Lookin’ what I desire

But nothing comes true

The loves I gave to you

Just disappear

By time

By the wind blows

‘till you get caught

The God will always knows

Prepare for the new

And blessed times